There are a lot of ways of defining 'extremely social'. Women who are extreme flirts are labelled as trouble. But flirting and socializing are two completely different things.
Men may be pressured to make the first move to engage someone, but they may bow into, or out of, a conversation at any time for basically any reason with no real social repercussions. Additionally, it is a social norm for men to be doing something -- stereotypically playing poker, watching a ball game, playing golf, etc.
Women, in comparison are much more frequently expected to have some amount of social grace. That is, women are still expected to play hostess in a group, to make sure everyone is comfortable and having a good time. Which means making idle small talk, the very thing the introvert despises. It is often perceived as a slight or an insult, among groups of women to not remember someone's birthday/anniversary/child's name/child's list of extra curriculars, etc, even if the someone in question is not a particularly close friend. Men can get away with remembering some assortment of these details about their families. A woman who falls outside these social norms, who would prefer not to speak until spoken to, and even then to not say much unless she feels she has something interesting and valuable to add to the conversation is written off by other women as aloof, arrogant or distant, and largely unnoticed by men, or labelled 'too much work'.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2006-04-11 02:01 am (UTC)Men may be pressured to make the first move to engage someone, but they may bow into, or out of, a conversation at any time for basically any reason with no real social repercussions. Additionally, it is a social norm for men to be doing something -- stereotypically playing poker, watching a ball game, playing golf, etc.
Women, in comparison are much more frequently expected to have some amount of social grace. That is, women are still expected to play hostess in a group, to make sure everyone is comfortable and having a good time. Which means making idle small talk, the very thing the introvert despises. It is often perceived as a slight or an insult, among groups of women to not remember someone's birthday/anniversary/child's name/child's list of extra curriculars, etc, even if the someone in question is not a particularly close friend. Men can get away with remembering some assortment of these details about their families. A woman who falls outside these social norms, who would prefer not to speak until spoken to, and even then to not say much unless she feels she has something interesting and valuable to add to the conversation is written off by other women as aloof, arrogant or distant, and largely unnoticed by men, or labelled 'too much work'.