Introverts Unite, or at least consider it quietly over a cup of tea

[chimerically]

I've been told often enough throughout my life that I need to "get out there" more -- be more assertive, be more aggressive, be more social, or just plain talk more (dammit!). However, when it comes to teaching, presenting, hosting a party, or interacting in other social situations, I can do just fine, and I even enjoy public speaking (as evinced by my years teaching planetarium shows at Holt Planetarium and dance lessons for UCBD). But being "out there," especially for long periods of time, and especially in unstructured social situations such as parties, sure does wear me out. I've never been a partier: I often get to know more of the books on my party host's bookcase than strangers at the party. In high-school psychology I realized I was just introverted, and throughout my life I've learned to "cope" with my "impairment." Well, a couple of years ago, an introverted writer decided to speak out. Nothing's wrong with being introverted, he said, and there's a lot that's right. And further, introverts are rather inconvenienced by the smalltalk and sociality that is expected of them. "Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts." And from a later interview: "Extroverts should understand that if someone is being quiet it doesn't mean they're having a bad time; it doesn't mean they're depressed; it doesn't mean they're lonely or need psychiatric help or medication. A lot of the battle is making the extrovert world more aware."

In the article and follow-up interview, the author stated that we live in a world that favors extroverts. I would agree completely for the physical world. (I've been lucky in that pretty much all the people I've been close to have been introverts. As an aside, a high-school classmate of dag29580863's once said that he'd only ever heard D say three words in all of high school. D, in his usual inimitable style, retorted, "Make that six.") But I would argue that the virtual world can be as well suited to introverts as extroverts. Online I can take my time responding, walk away, or sequester myself completely (... at least with most of my friends). It lets me stay connected to friends, but on terms I am more comfortable with -- less intense and more ambient, like the occasional connection one has when working independently but with someone else in the same room.

Are you introverted too? Do you also like the affordances of online communication? Does it also help you extroverts out there feel more connected?

Comments

[threadwalker.livejournal.com]

Also, to make a point, so many people equate introvert with Pssive, and it's just not true. Just because stuff is under the surface doesn't mean it isn't intense and intricate and impassioned even. In all the flurry of my own madness during social stuffs where I'm being an "extrovert", I'm also closely watching more quiet people for ripples on the surface that indicate mtion beneath it.


And yes, of course the internet, and writing generally are a great way for the "introvert" to shine. Thoughtful, solitary expression can come out all the better in writing. Whatever she was actually like, thee image of Emily Dickenson's actual life contrasted with her writing is a perfect example.

I like what writing brings out- I find a different sort of voice in it. Even more so writing by hand- the time it takes to write by hand draws out different thoughts, and more poetic expression for me.