just the links, ma'am, just the links

[chimerically]

Why are there so few girl characters in kids' movies? And what's up with "purity balls" and this obsession with "naive abstinence"? (I actually have some ideas about where the whole virginity obsession comes from, but I'll save that for another rant.)



That is all.

Comments

Re: virginity

[stridera.livejournal.com]

The "Guys treat women like objects" was said tongue-in-cheek.

As for the part I don't agree with...
To prevent the male-male competition from being a problem, it has to be ensured that no man may make use of the reproductive capacity of woman that he has not lawfully received. The demand will always be there, so the way to do this is to impose social rules that control the supply.
I don't really think the whole point of restricting sex to a spouse only is to keep competition down. I think it's religion gone out of control.

Looking back at my post, I didn't really think it out before writing that. (I've been awake for a while...) I hope this explains my viewpoint a little better. And don't get me wrong, I think her post is very well written and is has a lot of truth to it... I just have a different opinion on that aspect.

Re: virginity

[lbchewie.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I'm of the belief that religion is largely a social construction, outlining a moral code based on solid social and economic principles. Sanctifying virginity and monogamy, and even the institution of marriage, is a strategic way to introduce stability in intimate relationships - especially those which could possibly lead to developing families.

From a non-religious standpoint, I'm slightly put at ease when I know that somebody I'm interested in dating has had fewer-than-expected sexual partners for the reason of not worrying about how I measure up to the (wo)men in her past. Over time, I've managed to quell this insecurity, but there might be something rather instinctual behind it.

Re: virginity

[stridera.livejournal.com]

I agree with you there. The morale code of religion is usually very well defined and is pretty constructive in serving as a guideline for young children. It also provides a reason to follow it other than to just be a good person. (I guess damnation and purgatory would be a pretty bad 'time out' to look forward to.)

I also agree with your fewer-than-expected sexual partner statement. Being with someone 'overly' experienced would be uncomfortable I'm sure. There would also be the risk of STD's that I wouldn't find very appealing as well.

Re: virginity

[corpsefairy.livejournal.com]

Wow, I completely disagree with the fewer-than-expected sexual partners thing. I would much rather be with someone who was very experienced than with someone inexperienced; I don't want to have to teach! Experienced people are way more fun.

As for the risk of STDs, there are tests for that, and boundary observations prior to testing. A high number (and what's a high number, anyway? 5? 10? 20? More?) doesn't necessarily mean there's more risk.

Re: virginity

[stridera.livejournal.com]

I honestly think it's a male/female difference there. Males perfer having someone with little experience, while females want the opposite. And your reason explains it all. Males need to be trained how to please a women. And women can please a man just by looking at them funny.

But as lbchewie said, guys don't like wondering if they're not up to par with their parnters prior sexual partners.

Re: virginity

[lbchewie.livejournal.com]

I say that, but the woman to whom I lost my virginity was SIGNIFICANTLY more experienced than I (or probably anyone I may ever meet again). Personally, I love to be taught, but I can see why a number of men like to believe they're the ones in control.

I see one's sexual abilities just like any other skill. It's all taught. Some are more talented than others, but in the end, it's better to keep and open mind and realise that we're all students.

The way I see it: Teach people to be a better lovers, and everyone wins. There are no losers. It's only when people let their egos take the best of them when there's a conflict... and lots of unenjoyable sex ;)

Re: virginity

[stridera.livejournal.com]

I love learning (And in this case, I love practicing too ;)

However, while it has never happened to me, I'm sure it would be a MAJOR blow to be told, "My last boyfriend was better." (Althought I would assume most women have better tact than that.)

Either way, I'm content to practice all night long.

Re: virginity

[lbchewie.livejournal.com]

Wow, I completely disagree with the fewer-than-expected sexual partners thing. I would much rather be with someone who was very experienced than with someone inexperienced; I don't want to have to teach! Experienced people are way more fun.

Well, this approach to sexuality is beginning to prevail again in many circles. However, it goes against most "traditional" conservative values that tend to dominate certain religious and societial practices throughout the generations. It merely goes to show that one's approach to sexuality is a preference. More naturalistic, or "spiritual" interpretations of religion, especially those that believe that one's connection with God/Nature/Life is a highly personal relationship, can allow for one to embrace coitus as yet another beautiful human experience.

I've been tempted to write an entry about how the concept of "whiteness" mixed in with Christianity, sets a society up to be non-sexual as an ideal, but as an unnatural and harmful construct. I took a Theatre of American Cultures course which explored the idea through a number of essays, but never bothered to commit my thoughts to e-Paper. Meh. Conservatives! *digusted*

As for the risk of STDs, there are tests for that, and boundary observations prior to testing. A high number (and what's a high number, anyway? 5? 10? 20? More?) doesn't necessarily mean there's more risk.

Just so long as those practices are observed. While it's certainly possible to be open, honest, and proactive in disclosing one's sexual history, I'm afraid there are a number of those who use sexuality as for vengeance: those who have contracted a fatal STD, or rape victims, or due to other severe self-esteem crises. They simply may not be honest - and it comes down to simply one's ability to trust another.